The Hidden Memory
by obi's girl
Summary: Decades after her death, ObiWan remembers a special moment he shared with Padmé…


The Hidden Memory  
By obi's girl

Summary: Decades after her death, Obi-Wan remembers a special moment he shared with Padmé…   
Notes: Italics are flashbacks. It feels so good to write again, and an Obidala too which is ever better

Ben couldn't bare the harsh sun anymore and went back inside his hut. He walked to the living room and sat down on a rocker. He hadn't realized it when he awoke this morning, but today, marked his almost sixteen years living on Tatoonie. Sixteen years. After he moved there, he'd lost count how long he had been there. Ben shifted his weight and leaned his head against the wall. He still couldn't believe it was sixteen years…

He couldn't even imagine what Leia was like at this age or how she would be celebrating her birthday. Probably Bail and his wife had special plans for her, a big birthday bash. Luke, however, couldn't afford such a luxury. Owen and Beru were not rich people but he was sure they would find a way to celebrate. Thinking of Luke and Leia made him think of her…He hadn't thought of her much in recent years.

The first five years he was there, he thought about her a lot and wandered how things would have been different if he had said something. Jedi weren't supposed to love but secretly, every time he saw her, he felt a connection. Padmé was a strong and beautiful person, inside and out. At first, he had been wary of her because he didn't trust politicians but she proved to him that there were still a few that genuinely cared about the common people and their needs. In her late twenties, she didn't have to continue to serve the Republic but she chose to anyway. Love wasn't a priority.

It wasn't a priority in his life either until he realized what he'd known for a long time but had denied…he loved her. But did she feel the same way? Often, he debated asking her but other times, a sensible voice would tell him that he was silly to even consider asking. Padmé knew the rules. She was a Senator and he was a Jedi. It was more than forbidden. For him, if he gave into his feelings, he would be kicked out of the Order. For her, it would be scandalous and possibly end her political career.

Ben shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Why did he need to think about this now? The past was the past. Still, as he sat there, he could hear her voice somehow calling to him, forcing him to remember…

_//Don't look at me like that// she said as he smiled at her knowingly. It annoyed her when he'd smile and laugh at her._

//You needn't be so serious sometimes, Padmé// he told her//A smile, a laugh there wouldn't kill you, m'lady. // 

Ben laughed. He couldn't remember that conversation but it felt familiar to him. 

_// Ben Kenobi, I hate you…// she retorted._

Ben smiled devilishly. //Be careful, m'lady. Hate is such a strong word, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to pain and anger, anger leads to// he said mockingly.

She sneered at him and looked away. //If Master Yoda heard you mock the code like that, he'd probably whip you with that small cane of his//

//I'm sorry. You're right, m'lady// Obi-Wan conceded// Do you have everything prepared for your trip// 

Ben flinched. Trip? What trip? He didn't recall visiting her before any trip.

_//Do you mean, do I have twenty dresses prepared// she joked, looking once over her itinerary._

//You know, I always wandered if it was really necessary for a person like you, to have such an extensive wardrobe, especially for a visit back home? They're just your family and your nieces. I'm sure they wouldn't mind whatever you brought with you. //

Padmé didn't pay attention to him. //For your information, I'm not bringing twenty dresses. I specifically instructed my handmaidens to pack lightly. I plan to do some work while I'm on vacation. //

Obi-Wan hmm'd. //See, I knew it! You know what you are, Padmé? An obsessive work-a-holic. Admit it, you can't stand not to work. //

//I like what I do. My work is very comforting to me. Not everyone is allowed to live life leisurely, Obi-Wan// Padmé added, turning to him//you for example. You can't stop helping people because you want a vacation. You help people, keep the peace. It's what you do and this is what I do because I want to. //

//So just for the record, how many dresses are you bringing with you// he asked. Padmé looked away and quietly mumbled something. Obi-Wan couldn't hear clearly what she said but it sounded like a number. //I'm sorry. I'm becoming an old man, Padmé, what did you say// She muttered something again. //Could you speak louder? I didn't hear you. //

She looked back at him and screamed//Thirteen! I'm bringing thirteen dresses//

Obi-Wan smiled confidently. //Thirteen dresses and you're staying for four days, multiplied by three meals a day…// he tried to calculate but gave up and looked at her//to be honest, I don't think that's enough, m'lady. //

//That's it! You're leaving, Obi-Wan. I asked you over here for a goodbye lunch and since coming here, you haven't stopped making fun of me. // Padmé said exasperated.

He didn't know why then but he stopped smiling and stared blankly at her. She was furious with him but he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was at that moment. He couldn't even explain his actions the next moment as he leaned forward and kissed her. Padmé was confused herself but didn't fight him and gently, gave into the kiss. Obi-Wan backed her into a corner and kissed her more fervently.

Padmé forgot her anger and briefly wandered why she hadn't kissed him before. Once she realized the answer to her own question, Padmé pulled away from him and managed to get from under him.

Obi-Wan was left leaning against the wall. It was impulsive and stupid of him to do that but he couldn't help himself. For his part, Obi-Wan couldn't account for his actions and he was sure Padmé felt confused too. They were friends, good friends. Even though he teased her mercilessly, she knew it was only friendly banter. Obi-Wan also knew that there were limits between them and would never intentionally cross the line but now he felt that he had.

//I'm sorry, Padmé// he said. //I'll go now. // As Obi-Wan turned to leave, Padmé said something. He barely heard what she said so she said it louder and he stopped in front of the door.

//I'm not sorry// Padmé whispered and smiled//It was a…very pleasing kiss. // 

Ben grinned. He hadn't remembered that particular conversation.

_//Can I kiss you again// _

Padmé blushed and smiled. Obi-Wan walked over and kissed her again. This time, the kiss wasn't as hurried as before but more passionate and soft. That evening, Padmé was forced to delay her departure from Coruscant and in fact, didn't leave until two days later. 

Ben smiled and stood up from the rocker and walked to his room to rest. As he lay down on his bed, he thought about Padmé some more. He really didn't remember that moment; it could have been his imagination but somehow he felt it wasn't. Whether it happened or not, Ben made a promise to himself to never forget Padmé again or the time they shared together.

The End


End file.
